


Five times Jim talked about Tarsus and one time Nyota heard him

by jenny_wren



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Gen, Tarsus IV
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-25
Updated: 2017-09-25
Packaged: 2019-01-05 03:42:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,308
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12182217
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jenny_wren/pseuds/jenny_wren
Summary: Kink meme - Jim is not exactly over Tarsus but he's over it enough to be casual about it, so times when Jim nonchalantly horrified someone by being casual about Tarsus





	Five times Jim talked about Tarsus and one time Nyota heard him

**Author's Note:**

> Warning - Jim being nochalantly horrifying about Tarsus

 

Five times Jim talked about Tarsus and one time Nyota heard him

 

1.

The fight was brisk and violent. When she had time to catch her breath, the fifteen Drugar lay crumpled on the floor and the ten Enterprise crew were still standing. Nyota was going to count that as a win.

Then Jim made a retching sound, leant over and spat. Nyota stared at the pathetic heap of bloody chipped fragments, gleaming white on the dusty ground.

“Ah, are those your teeth?” she asked faintly.

Jim shook his head cheerfully, still high from the fight, “They’re just fake caps, easy enough to fix. I don’t actually have any teeth left.”

“No teeth!” She laughed in disbelief, “What? You lose them all in your illustrious bar-fighting career?”

“Nah, got scurvy on Tarsus and it _totally_ wrecked my gums.”

The entire landing party stared. Even though it was a matter of Federation History, Nyota found it almost impossible to believe Jim had actually been on Tarsus when he acted so nonchalant about the whole thing.

“Hey,” said Jim. “It’s okay. For a while they thought my gums were too fucked up to take implants. Now that would have been depressing.”

 

2.

Hiraku took another bit of the mystery meat the Felehians had served and chewed it meditatively.

“How is it, no matter how weird the dish, it always tastes like chicken?”

“Human doesn’t,” said Jim absently, mind clearly on the tricorder he was studying.

“What?” demanded Nyota.

“Human. It’s tenderer than chicken and naturally nice and salty. If you get a bit with enough fat, it fries like a dream. Best tasting meat there is.”

Six pairs of eyes stared at him in horror and saw the pink flick of his tongue as he licked his lips. He didn’t see their wide eyes, his attention was still focused on the tricorder he was fussing over.

“Jim,” growled Leonard.

Jim’s head jerked up, “What?”

“You’re freaking your crew out. Stop joking around. You haven’t actually eaten humans.”

“Sure I –,”

Leonard snarled wordlessly.

“I mean, of course I haven’t. Don’t be ridiculous.” He looked tentatively at Leonard for approval, clearly not understanding what the issue was.

“That’s better.”

“Great. Um also, large number of Felehians, and massive amount of gunpowder headed in our direction.”

After the yelling, fighting, and running was over, the subject was firmly dropped. Nyota couldn’t decide which idea horrified her more, that Jim had eaten human flesh, or that he thought it was a suitable matter for joking about. She decided on balance it was better not to think about it at all.

 

3.

 “Jan!”

“Jimmy!” Jim and their newest crew member flung their arms around each other in an extravagant movie style embrace right there on the bridge in front of everyone.

Nyota clucked her tongue in annoyance. “She’s your Yeoman, Kirk, that means no playing tonsil-hockey.”

“Live a little, Uhura. Janice and I go way back.”

“Oh yeah,” Nyota prided herself on being Jim’s oldest Starfleet acquaintance.

“Absolutely,” Janice Rand grinned sharply. “It was very romantic.”

“Kirk?” Nyota didn’t believe he even knew what the word meant.

“I am the very first person Jimmy killed for. Can’t get more romantic than that.” She cuddled into Jim’s side.

Jim actually seemed to be aware of their shock this time.

“I didn’t actually mean to kill him,” he said hastily, shooting an entreating glance at Leonard. “His head just kind of exploded when I hit it for the sixth time with the rock.”

“The blood went everywhere,” corroborated Janice, rubbing at her hair.

“Quit moaning,” said Jim, “it went up my nose.”

 

4.

Nyota glared lopsidedly at Pavel. When they’d settled on playing Truth or Dare, she’d kept a suspicious eye on Jim, but it was Pavel who’d asked what her and Spock’s favorite sexual position was, and he’d had the sneaky bastardness to ask Spock, which meant Nyota wasn’t even able to lie about it.

“Is Chekov even old enough to drink,” she grumped.

“Don’ be a killjoy,” slurred Hiraku.

“International exemption rules,” said Jim cheerfully. He might not have asked the question, but he’d sure enjoyed the answer. Nyota’s annoyance honed in on him.

“Silence,” she ordered imperiously. “It’s my turn. Kirk..?” She smirked evilly.

“Uh oh,” said Jim, “Truth.”

“Alright then.” Her smirk deepened.

Some presentiment of her question must have hit Leonard because he waved his arms frantically, “No, no, do not ask that.”

She glared, “Oh no, not even you can save him now. Jim, when and how did you first have sex? And sheep totally count.”

Everybody’s attention fixed on Jim eager for the entertainment to start. Jim grinned, delighted as always to be the center of attention. Nyota twitched with frustration.

“You,” Leonard said into the Jim’s dramatic pause, jabbing his finger at him. “Do not answer that. Uhura, pick another question.”

“Hey Bones, don’t worry about, it’s not a big deal.”

Leonard scowled ferociously, “I’m not worried about you. I’m worried about your sweet, shiny officers having a great time.”

“Oh.” Jim looked puzzled, then he shrugged his shoulders. “If you say so. Better ask me something else, Uhura.”

Nyota’s eyes narrowed with tipsy triumph, “Running scared are we _Captain_.”

Leonard slumped with defeat.

“Nah, Bones is just being weird,” Jim shot his friend a concerned glance before turning back to Nyota. “If you’re sure..?”

“I’m sure.” No way was she letting him wriggle out of this now. “First time. When and how.”

“Thirteen. Never quite got their names. Two of Kodos’ guards so they’d let us go.”

Nyota stared in disbelief as Jim continued to burble cheerfully,

“Tweedledum and Tweedledee. Tweedledum…”

“Shut up,” snapped Leonard.

“But-”

“I said shut up. You’ve answered the question. Pick someone else.”

“But-” objected Nyota because it wasn’t that she wanted more details exactly, but nobody could be that blasé if it had actually happened. And Jim owed her some squirming.

The glare Leonard fired at her was filled with intense dislike.

“C’mon Jim,” he turned to his best friend, “you should let your crew continue this party without their Captain.”

 “Aww,” Jim pouted.

“It’s okay kid, I think I’ve still got some good stuff stashed away.”

Jim brightened immediately, “Hot damn! Let’s go. Though you are weird Bones, always wanting to get hammered after truth or dare, instead of before like normal people.”

 

5.

The incandescent pain in Nyota’s right arm had come down to manageable levels since the hypospray to her neck. Unfortunately that just meant she was once again aware of her surroundings. Which was on a rocky beach at the bottom of really steep cliff. Not the cliff was really objectionable except for how _she’d fallen off the top of it_.

Jim’s bright, blue eyes beamed down at her. “Uhura? Feeling better?”

“No,” she scowled. “What the hell are you doing?”

“I’m going to use the regenerator to fix you up.”

“I don’t think so. I’ll wait for an actual doctor.”

“Sorry but you brought half the cliff down with you, and once I scrambled after you,” he shook his head, “there’s no way anyone else is making it down. But don’t worry, Bones threw me his medkit, I’ll soon have you sorted.”

“Kirk, my arm’s definitely broken.”

“Sure is, and your ribs.”

“Right. And last time I checked, you are not a doctor.”

“Hey,” he pulled an offended face, “I have done this before you know.”

“Right.”

“I have. On Tarsus –”

“Right,” she sneered, “on Tarsus.”

“What?” he blinked stupidly at her.

“Shut the fuck up about Tarsus. I am sick to death of you using Tarsus to get your own way. Or worse as a fucking joke.”

Several expressions flickered over Jim’s face too fast for her pain hazy mind to make sense of them.

“Right,” he said, “Spock’s pretty nimble, I’ll go see if we can find a way to get him down here.” Then he disappeared from her view.

She wanted to call him back, already feeling guilty for snapping, but surely she was allowed to call him on his behavior. She wasn’t being unreasonable, damnit.

When she safely back on the Enterprise, on the mend and on the good drugs, with pain no longer grinding away all her control, she did try to apologize.

Jim just laughed, “You were probably right Lieutenant, after all Tommy permanently lost an eye.”

Nyota stared at him. Tommy had to be Thomas Leighton, a nice young man they’d ferried to Meloths III. He would have been handsome if it wasn’t for the patch over his ruined eye, Nyota had liked him except for the infuriating way he worshipped the ground Jim walked on.

“Still, the eye patch makes him look dashing. Scores major points with the ladies.”

Nyota rolled her eyes, trust Jim Kirk to reduce everything down to sex.

 

+1.

Nyota was hot, sweaty, dusty and exhausted, and if Jim didn’t stop looking so fucking cheerful about the situation, she was going to commit murder. She narrowed her eyes at him with concentrated malice until he flinched.

“Hey, come on Lieutenant,” Jim, even after four hours, still had enough energy to bounce, “One day’s hike to the Thoel’s sacred site and we can begin negotiations. It’s a walk in the park.” And he laughed like a drain at his dreadful pun.

“It’s actually kind of fun,” said Janice. Nyota glared at her too. The other woman had swapped her beehive for a neat bun and seemed as unbothered by the dirt and dust as Jim.

“Like Tarsus,” Ensign Riley agreed.

Nyota joined the rest of the party in double-taking at the new Ensign. The Enterprise Crew avoided the subject of Tarsus even more assiduously than the rest of Federation, which was saying something. Even Nyota, who’d long since decided the exploits Jim recounted were bad taste exaggerations, would never voluntarily bring the subject up.

Jim, predictably, just laughed, “Only without the threat of messy death.”

“Well yeah,” said Riley, “but once we were a couple of days out from Tarsus City, the walk wasn’t that bad.”

There was confused blinking as they all realized little Riley, who wouldn’t say boo to a goose, had been on Tarsus.

“That’s because Jim carried you most of the way,” said Janice, “the rest of us had to actually walk.”

Kevin stuck his tongue out at her. Janice aggressively ruffled both her hands through his hair in retaliation.

Nyota clenched her hands into tight fists because she was not going to ask. Fortunately Hiraku did it for her,

“Walk?”

“There was a cool old Japanese lady in the first detention center,” said Jim. “She knew about the base camp left by the original Starfleet survey team. Said there would be emergency food supplies there. And she gave me the co-ordinates.” He shrugged his shoulders. “So we walked.”

“And walked and walked,” said Janice.

“You weren’t the one having to deal with all eleven of you whining, are we there yet, every five minutes.” Jim scrubbed his hands through his hair. “Thought you’d drive me mad.”

“Aww, poor Jimmy. I know what’ll cheer you up,” and Janice started to sing, “ _Oh you’ll never get to heaven…_ ”

Jim and Kevin dutifully echoed her.

“ _In Jim Kirk’s arms._ ”

Jim groaned but repeated the line along with Kevin.

“ _Cos the Lord don’t want – those devilish charms._ ”

When they sang through the verse again, and started on the chorus. Nyota tentatively joined in - because messing with Jim never got old - as did a couple of the security team, who presumably also recognized the song from Junior Cadets.

Kevin led the next verse _. “Oh you’ll never get to heaven if you fuck with Jim. Cos if you fuck with Jim – we’ll do you in_.”

He and Janice mined slitting throats with bloody-thirsty enthusiasm. The song trailed away as the crew nervously broke off.

Janice didn’t seem to notice, “Oh-oh,” she said, “Jim’s favorite.” She and Kevin led that one together.

“ _Oh we’ll never get to heaven if we all slow down. Cos if we slow down, they’ll drag us back to town_.”

They both mimed a rope jerking tight around their necks, flailed their arms desperately as if they were being dragged backwards, before going limp. Then they cracked up in childish giggles at their antics. The high sound made Nyota wince.

“He-ey,” Jim dropped his arms heavily around their shoulders, “that wasn’t my favorite. That was just to keep your lazy asses moving. My favorite was,

“ _Oh you’ll never get to heaven on bended knees.”_

They followed him enthusiastically, growing louder as they recognized Jim’s favorite until they strode together in lockstep, bellowing their defiance at the sky.

 _“Cos the Lord just laughs, if you say please_.”

Nyota had fallen back with the others. She didn’t want to get too close to their crackling energy.

“Jim,” shouted Leonard, “you three go on ahead and scout out the next water-hole. We’ll catch up.”

“Alright,” Jim yelled back. “Come on you guys.” He tagged Kevin with a firm slap on the back and took off laughing, Janice following in his wake, Kevin chasing after them. Nyota watched them slip and slide along together and it was like she was looking fifteen years into the past and seeing three children playing together in the dust of another world.

They stopped for moment and Kevin scrambled onto Jim’s back to be carried. Janice bumped against Jim and then they all began to sing. The words drifted back to them.

“ _Glory, glory, what a hell of a way to die, hacked into bloody pieces and eaten up as pie._ ”

Nyota watched, still fifteen years in the past, seeing through eyes blurry with tears the dusty shadows of another nine children following behind as Jim desperately dragged them to safety by force of will alone.

“ _And we aint gonna cry no mo-o-re_.”

 


End file.
